An old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says “I want to get a tattoo”. The artist hesitantly replies “Well, ok where would you like this tattoo? Old lady: “actually I want two, one on the inside of my left thigh and one and the inside of my right thigh”

Artist: “you know how much this will hurt? Are you really sure you want them there?”
Old lady barks at him: “of course I know that’s where I want them! I don’t care how much it will hurt!” Artist: “okay, whatever you want then. Let’s take a look at art the art book to see if there is something you want.” Old lady: “I already know what I want. I want a Christmas tree on my left thigh, and a turkey on my right thigh” Artist: “uhhhh ok, I will do that, but could you answer me as to why you would want such a thing?” Old lady: “Because in sick of my husband complaining there is nothing to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving!”